Trans Etiquette (developed by the Division of Student Life):
Respect everyone’s self-identification
Do not ask a person’s birth or legal name. If you know it, refuse to use it
Use a person’s correct name and pronouns
If you don’t know what pronouns or gender labels are correct, ask politely
If you make a mistake, apologize, move on, and do better
Always affirm (never challenge) a trans person’s gender identity and expression
Do not ask private, personal, or invasive questions (ask yourself: is it relevant or my business?)
If you have general questions, try Google first
If you really want to understand a trans person’s experience, ask permission to ask questions
Be careful of your phrasing (never say “when you were a girl” or “Jack was born a woman” because Jack has always been a man, it’s just that everyone else made assumptions about Jack based on the appearance of his body)
Be aware of your setting (staff meeting may not be the time for a trans chat)
Don’t make assumptions about a person’s transition process
Don’t ask if someone is sure they are trans
Don’t tell a trans person how hard or uncomfortable this is for you
Don’t offer advice for being “read as” a particular gender (ie: “If you just wore a little lipstick…”)
