Trans Etiquette 

Developed by the Division of Student Life

• Respect everyone’s self-identification.
• Do not ask a person’s birth or legal name. If you know it, refuse to use it.
• Use a person’s correct name and pronouns.
• If you don’t know what pronouns or gender labels are correct, ask politely.
• If you make a mistake, apologize, move on, and do better.
• Always affirm (never challenge) a trans person’s gender identity and expression.
• Do not ask private, personal, or invasive questions (ask yourself: is it relevant or my business?).
• If you have general questions, try Google first.
• If you really want to understand a trans person’s experience, ask permission to ask questions.
• Be careful of your phrasing (never say “when you were a girl” or “Jack was born a woman” because Jack has always been a man, it’s just that everyone else made assumptions about Jack based on the appearance of his body).
• Be aware of your setting (staff meeting may not be the time for a trans chat).
• Don’t make assumptions about a person’s transition process.
• Don’t ask if someone is sure they are trans.
• Don’t tell a trans person how hard or uncomfortable this is for you.
• Don’t offer advice for being “read as” a particular gender (ie: “If you just wore a little lipstick…”).
• Do not “out” a trans person.
• Don’t say “transgendered."